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It’s December again, and I’m alone
In my room chronicling about the events
And stories that have shaped my life in the
Times before now.
It only seems like yesterday when I began
A journey into my past to dig out the problems
That has bedeviled my life, obstructing the
Very nature of my existence.
Three years ago, on this same day in the
City of Lagos, I was lost into a world of
Depression, and I couldn’t think I could
Find anyone to talk to.
A day before, I had tried explaining my
Silence to my supposed girlfriend, but
I couldn’t get her to listen to me or
Understand what I was doing.
I couldn’t even understand myself, so
Silence were my only words. With a loud
“Don’t talk to me again!” from me, and a
“I hate you!” from her, I ended a relationship
I so wanted to stay put in.
It was a phone call.
I was dead. I was killed. I was buried. I was
Murdered. I was destroyed. I couldn’t think
Of a most preferred way to end my life, but
I just knew I had been whipped off the surface
Of the earth.
Right there in the city of Lagos, I became a
Hermit in my own home: a stranger who
Couldn’t even talk to himself but just hear
The words and voices coming from my
Earpiece. My music/message playlist.
In all these things, I could only speak to one
Man. I could only talk to on single person. I
Could only relate to one being. I could only
Be understood by one soul. The Lord Jesus.
Out of the ashes of my darkness and the
Depress-full thinking of my soul, the Lord
Jesus became an anchor of my life, and the
Thought for my soul.
And then there was sex, alcohol, and freedom.
I became free to think again and reason with
My soul. I became a free being, a free man,
And yeah, you can call it a “free thinker”.
I became free to think again and be happy with
Who God had called me to be. I became free and
Happy to feel the very life God had always wanted
For me.
But it wasn’t even about God the whole time; I
Could no longer be held spell-bound by religion,
Situations, and every ‘incredible’ opinions of man.
My name is Gideon PaGidi Disu, and my freedom
Has been given by me to think of me in a way that
Would make me feel happy about me and see me
As the best me that could have ever happened to me.
It’s December again, and I’m alone in my room
In the city of Enugu, chronicling about the events
And stories that have shaped my life in the last
Couple of years before now, and beyond.
The story continues…
#PaGidiExpressions
